One word: Haiti

I have been blissfully ignorant on that subject because I think there's a part of me that doesn't want to feel the pain of another distaster in a third world country. My life in Orange County is just too cushy for that.

Last night, I was brought to my knees.

I have cousins who are apparently friends with people on ministry teams serving in Haiti.

6 degrees of separation.

There is a man (whose name I don't know) who was serving in Haiti and as he and his friend were walking back into their hotel, the ground started to shake. They dove inside and were burried under 6 stories of hotel ruins. I don't know if the friend made it. The other man wore glasses, which got knocked off and crushed in his frantic gestures to get to safety. All he had with him was his camera, his iPhone and his journal. He couldn't see long distance without his glasses so he used his iPhone to take pictures of his surroundings to try and find a safe place to crawl into. He found an elevator shaft and waited for 65 hours. He had a broken leg and used his iPhone Apps to figure out how to make a tournequet to stop the bleeding.

65 hours.

I can only imagine the laundry list of thoughts running through someone's head as they wait for that long to be rescued. And of all things, he used that time to pray and to leave notes of encouragement to his family, just in case he didn't make it.

Amazing. Yet another way that God has provided for His children.

This is the link to the video on The Today Show: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/34933049#34933049

I knew that already.

I doubt myself more often than not. In life, I will not be dealt anything that God doesn't supply intentionally. He will not allow me to be in situations that I cannot handle. I know these things and yet, I continue to harbor self doubt.

My new job is different. Not bad, just... different. I do not feel comfortable there. I don't fit in yet, and that is an odd thing for me to feel. I make friends everywhere I go - whether I try or not. I am in-your-face friendly and if needed, I could make friends with a pet rock if there were no other options.

Therefore, naturally, I began to have doubts the other night.

"God," I whined. "I know you gave me this job for a reason. I know that I am supposed to be here but I need some encouragement. I can't do this on my own and I'm feeling uncomfortable. A little help please?"

To which He replied, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength."

- Philippians 4: 13

Definitive

Anyone who claims that God doesn't speak, or complains about not hearing His voice needs to use better Q-Tips.

I'm sitting in by myself in church, just looking around at the sea of beautiful people trickling in and filling up the seats around me. If you've ever attended RockHarbor in Costa Mesa, you know what I am talking about. Across the room I saw a happy couple sitting next to each other and holding hands. One was flipping through the Bible, and the other sitting their silently. I thought quietly to myself, 'how nice it would be to have that.' My curiosity was suddenly sparked.

"God," I asked. "When am I going to find someone to fall in love with?"

It was more of a rhetorical question or a prayer request, rather than something I was looking to have answered. I barely finished that sentence when He replied:

"When you completely obey me."

Well ok then...how's that for an answer?!

Trust is the thickest slice of Bread to sink your teeth into.

I was up passed 1am this morning - half awake, drained and half serious about wanting to hear from God. While browsing the internet for useless things, I felt a tug on my heartstrings. "God, is that you?" No answer. "Huuuugggh, ok, fine. I give up. Talk to me, God. Please talk to me." So out of sheer curiosity mixed with a hint of anxiety from my long and draining day, I googled "daily scripture" and came across this website called Christnotes.com "Ok God, talk to me." The page finally loaded and this is what He said:

"Because he loves me," Says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name." Pslam 91:14

Really, God... REALLY??? I can't believe you were actually listening. Well, I mean, I can...of course you were listening, but I've been waiting all day to hear those words of encouragement!

Someone once told me that if I was having trouble hearing God's voice, it's because I'm probably not leaving Him any space to talk.

Then again, about 10 minutes ago I listened to a voicemail on my phone from a guy named Garrett from RockHarbor. He wanted to know if I was interested in interviewing this weekend to go to Uganda. "WHAT, GOD??? Where did that come from?? How are you going to make that work, help me get a job and help me survive?? Ok, I guess it's time to listen again." As I sat in silence my head was filled with this buzz - and that buzz is usually filled with my own fragmented thoughts that I can't quite make out and then I hear, "What don't you have that I haven't already given you?" Wait, God... was that you, or me? And again, but more clearly, "What don't you have that I haven't already given you?" Nothing, God. Nothing.

"Trust me," He said.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." - Proverbs 3:5, 6